My Silly Paradigm

Postpartum

Written by cbte on April 25th, 2010

Well, my media center is gone.  The PS3, the TV, and the surround sound.  So how do I feel?

I feel free.  I’ll come to a point in my day where I would usually put on a bluray movie to occupy my time, and I have to actively think of new things to do.  New things to write.  New things to create.  New things to design.  New things to plan.  Or nothing.

I can just stand here in silence.  If I want to put on some tunes, that’s perfectly acceptable too – and I can just be.  There is so much more room in my brain and heart now for meditation and reflection.  I have time to simply enjoy my life and think of all that I’m grateful for.  When I expend those extra feelings of gratitude, I become a better person for the people who need me.  I become more focused on why they are important to me and what I need to do to show them how much I love them.

Getting rid of my media center doesn’t mean that I’ll never have one again.  It means that at this point in my life, it was just what I needed to continue on my journey to being the most awesome man I can possibly be.  I have gotten so much clarity over the past few weeks, it’s almost unbelievable.  But I believe it.  I’m living it.

I’ve read a few articles lately about how change is nearly impossible to achieve within individuals.  As I read more and more about these pessimistic people spewing statistics left and right, I begin to put myself in one of two categories.  I’m either the 1 person out of 10 who is capable of change, or I’m not really “changing” per se.  All I’ve ever needed was within me already – so is bringing it to the surface really “changing”?  Regardless of the specifics, I put myself in both categories.  I will always rise above all odds.  That makes me a rarity.  Also, I know that I have what it takes to be the man I was made to be, and I have always had it.  I’m just lighting the fire now.  It’s ridiculously refreshing.

So what is getting rid of the TV all about?  It’s about a lot of things.  It’s about my personal development.  It’s about being more passionate.  It’s about being more dedicated.  It’s about being more open.  It’s about being more confident.  It’s about being more loving.  It’s about being everything people are always told they can’t be.

Am I suffering from postpartum TV separation anxiety?  Absolutely not.  Am I already a stronger man?  Absolutely I am.