Written by cbte on April 28th, 2010
As much as we crave uncertainty, spontaneity, and surprise – we crave certainty. I want adventure in my life, but I also want that one corner of my brain to hold onto the things that I know I will always believe. The memories I will always hold dear. The people I will always love. Excitement and surprise are like the lighter fluid for a fire, while certainty is the wood – constantly burning. Certainty forms the foundation of happiness.
So how do you know what you’re certain about? First, you examine your belief system. Religion, morals, standards. When soemone asks you about these things, you don’t have to think about the answers – they’re just there. They aren’t things that you often change your mind about, and if you do, you don’t waver quickly from one idea to the other.
What memories do you hold dear? Perhaps special moments during your childhood. The first time you stood up for yourself and felt proud about it. Your first kiss with the love of your life. You don’t have to decide if these memories bring you joy or not – they just do. You can feel it.
How about people? Do you love your parents? Do you know without a doubt that they will always be there for you? Do you feel it in your heart? I wager that everyone has at least one close friend that they know they will never lose, no matter what. What about someone you love? Do you feel that person’s unconditional commitment to you? Do you feel your commitment to him or her?
As I have spent the past weeks discovering who I really am and how I want to share myself with others, I’ve discovered much about my own need for certainty. But… there’s a twist. If I asked you what you were certain about, say, with regard to your beliefs, you’d respond with something obvious. A religion you are already practicing. A relationship with God that you are already fully engaged in. Something that is already in motion.
If you ask me the same question, the answer begins to head off the taken path, but it loses none of its validity. There are things I am certain about right now that are not in motion. However, I know – I am certain – that I will get to the place I can already see in my mind – where those things are in motion. You might say that notion is bogus, but I beg to differ. Nay, I simply differ. No begging necessary. I know – I am certain – because I can feel these things in my heart. I know without a doubt what’s in store for me, because I have the power to choose.
I arduously make this point because it’s extremely easy to be side-tracked with distractions and lose focus. To use a music analogy (which I love, of course), it’s like writing half of the first movement of a symphony and quitting because it’s not finished yet. The composer knows his intended finished product. Sure, there might be added ornamentation here and there, but to quit prematurely is to rob yourself of the greatest gifts you could possibly give yourself. Goals aren’t unattainable just because the end result isn’t in your hand already. Things worth fighting for aren’t that easy. That’s what makes them so much more amazing when you get them.
As I continue to make monumental changes in my life, trepidation is quick to attempt a coup on my efforts. It tells me that I won’t succeed, that I won’t be who and what I need to be. But you know what I have to say to that? I already am who and what I need to be. I am everything I can be in this moment, and that is all that matters. “The future” is just a figure of speech. The future is really an enactment of the present. I am asking 105% of myself, so if I only give 100%, I’ll be doing just fine. “The future” is not important to me – it only matters how I live my life right now.
As bits of certainty in my life fog up, I simply wipe the fog away to see that it was only unjustified fear. I know what I’m certain about, and I know exactly what I need to do to make my dreams realities. And guess what? I’m already taking action.
Written by cbte on April 25th, 2010
Well, my media center is gone. The PS3, the TV, and the surround sound. So how do I feel?
I feel free. I’ll come to a point in my day where I would usually put on a bluray movie to occupy my time, and I have to actively think of new things to do. New things to write. New things to create. New things to design. New things to plan. Or nothing.
I can just stand here in silence. If I want to put on some tunes, that’s perfectly acceptable too – and I can just be. There is so much more room in my brain and heart now for meditation and reflection. I have time to simply enjoy my life and think of all that I’m grateful for. When I expend those extra feelings of gratitude, I become a better person for the people who need me. I become more focused on why they are important to me and what I need to do to show them how much I love them.
Getting rid of my media center doesn’t mean that I’ll never have one again. It means that at this point in my life, it was just what I needed to continue on my journey to being the most awesome man I can possibly be. I have gotten so much clarity over the past few weeks, it’s almost unbelievable. But I believe it. I’m living it.
I’ve read a few articles lately about how change is nearly impossible to achieve within individuals. As I read more and more about these pessimistic people spewing statistics left and right, I begin to put myself in one of two categories. I’m either the 1 person out of 10 who is capable of change, or I’m not really “changing” per se. All I’ve ever needed was within me already – so is bringing it to the surface really “changing”? Regardless of the specifics, I put myself in both categories. I will always rise above all odds. That makes me a rarity. Also, I know that I have what it takes to be the man I was made to be, and I have always had it. I’m just lighting the fire now. It’s ridiculously refreshing.
So what is getting rid of the TV all about? It’s about a lot of things. It’s about my personal development. It’s about being more passionate. It’s about being more dedicated. It’s about being more open. It’s about being more confident. It’s about being more loving. It’s about being everything people are always told they can’t be.
Am I suffering from postpartum TV separation anxiety? Absolutely not. Am I already a stronger man? Absolutely I am.
Written by cbte on April 22nd, 2010
I don’t really “watch TV”, per se. I do, however, watch bluray movies. I absolutely love seeing high definition content and hearing 5.1 surround sound. But wait… if I enjoy this experience, why am I getting rid of my media setup?
Minimalist bloggers everywhere are getting rid of their televisions. They talk about how TV consumes much of our valuable time that could be used traveling, making money with a small business, or sharing some love with someone you love. The common theme, however, is that they are mostly referring to cable TV. The only cable TV I watch is one episode of American Idol and one episode of Glee – some weeks. Not even every week. So again I ask, why am I ditching my TV, PS3, and surround sound?
I see my media setup as a “comfort zone”. It’s a fallback plan when I can’t think of anything else to do. If I’m too bored or the night is too quiet, I can enter the world of Jason Bourne at the press of a button (or three). The TV makes it too easy to put off doing far more important things. Even if I’m only watching one movie per week, I can still feel the “availability” of the media system pulling me away from making a difference in my own life and the lives of others.
One goal of mine is to be able to travel anywhere at any time. Yes, it’s possible to transport my media setup, but why bother? The TV weighs at least 30 pounds, the subwoofer/amplifier unit alone weighs 55 pounds, and the PS3 + blurays + games + surround speakers probably total out around 15 pounds. That’s 100 pounds of “stuff” that I won’t have to transport between places when I move next. It’s also quite a large volume.
And you know, it’s a bigger deal than just that. Getting rid of such a substantial part of my life is going to be huge momentum to get rid of even more. Once I get down to less than 100 things, it will be ridiculously easy to move around, and it will be ridiculously cheap to live. As soon as I get rid of my car, my cost of living will drop even more – to almost nothing, really. Although this is one fantastic freaking benefit, it’s not why I’m getting rid of my media setup.
I’m doing it to fully commit to being the man I want to be. I’m cutting the cord to focus on the things that matter most to me. I’m losing the THX certified sound to make my own music, with my own instrument – more often. I’m getting rid of the PS3 to have meaningful conversations, rather than to frag n00bs. I might not use it that often, but when it’s gone, something magical is going to happen. I can already feel it. Can you?
Written by cbte on April 20th, 2010
My confidence level is one of the biggest determining factors of how well my day will go. If I don’t feel like I’m going to succeed at something, I usually don’t. If I’m feeling extremely confident about it, the outcome no longer matters as much – but I usually succeed, to boot. Here’s the deal.
Our brains don’t know the difference between reality and our vivid imagination. The only reason you perceive the things you encounter as “reality” is because you assign a definition of reality to those things. If you focus long enough on the things you want to achieve – and even vividly imagine already achieving them – you will. You can’t just do this once, though. You have to do it every day, multiple times a day, all day.
I have realized that in the past, I felt I lacked the confidence necessary to achieve my serious goals. It turns out I didn’t lack any confidence at all – it has been within me my entire life. I just haven’t allowed it to surface. It takes a serious breakthrough to realize this, but it is possible – so don’t give up!
Today I decided to go through the entire day with a purpose! With every step I took, every thing I said, and every facial expression I made, I exuded my confidence. Did I know what I was doing? Maybe not! But that doesn’t matter! Someone awesome once told me, “Nobody knows what they are doing!” This is 100% true. Since nobody knows, why not act like you do!
If you go throughout life questioning yourself, you’ll never be great. The moment you accept who you are and show your colors with pride, the real magic will start to happen. I’ve been feeling it for a few weeks now, and it’s really starting to shine now. And guess what? This is only the beginning. Don’t wait another second. Be you right now, and do it with confidence!
Written by cbte on April 17th, 2010
Michael Jordan was a fantastic basketball player. Eric Ruske is a fantastic horn player. It’s easy to think that these people are superhuman and infinitely passionate about what they do. It would explain why they are so good at what they do, certainly. What is often overlooked is that passion is something that must be refreshed and practiced every day.
Experts don’t become experts by wanting. They become experts by doing. It’s important to understand the difference. You can want that corner office your entire life. You can want a million dollars for forever. You can wish your relationship was better. But you know what will actually make these things happen? Doing. Passion is not simply an emotion, it’s a practice. It’s something that must be constantly fueled.
Every day you wake up, you need to spend at least 10 minutes thinking – and even better, verbally speaking – the things you are passionate about. If you don’t fuel yourself every day, you will easily lose focus and begin to wonder why you aren’t getting what you want. Passion is not just a desire, it’s an effort. If you say you’re passionate about getting a promotion, do everything in your power to prove your worth. Don’t just dream. Do.
Passion is a necessary fuel for personal and emotional development, but it doesn’t come from nothing. You have to create the passion in you. Wanting something really badly doesn’t count as passion. Doing something about that desire does count.
When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself – out loud – what you’re passionate about. Tell yourself why you are going to do everything in your power to pursue that goal, that dream, that person. Tell yourself how grateful you are for the opportunities you have, and go seek your dreams!
Nothing is impossible in this world. Improbable? Perhaps. But impossible? Not a chance. If anyone tells you otherwise, prove them wrong.
Written by cbte on April 16th, 2010
Often, people associate “giving” with donating money to a charitable cause. This is a fine example of giving, but it is without a doubt not the only way to give. There is another form of giving that is forgotten through repetition of its absence. It is perhaps the most important form of giving you’ll ever practice.
What escapes people is the practice of giving to the people they love. As time goes by, they figure their love is apparent through different mediums. This is true. As we develop and create new bonds with people, they feel our love in new and exciting ways; however, this is no excuse to eradicate giving as a whole.
What you have to discover is what “giving” means to you. It doesn’t have to be monetary, but it can be – and sometimes should be. Giving can be as simple as buying flowers or as big as taking an all-day trip to a fun convention. There is a common theme to these things. They cost money. I’ve been a tightwad for a long time, so I can empathize with someone who feels they shouldn’t spend money when they don’t “need” to. However, the “need” portion of that statement should be closely examined. Just because you don’t think someone needs something doesn’t mean that someone doesn’t need that something.
The main point of giving is to not think about what you can give, but about what others would be appreciative of. When you look at it through someone else’s eyes, giving takes on a new meaning. Don’t give to make you feel good, give to make him/her/them feel good. Your joy will come with theirs.
Written by cbte on April 14th, 2010
Well, folks, it’s finally happened. I say “finally” like I expected it to happen all this time, but I really never knew it would happen. There has been a paradigm shift in my music taste. As I’ve said in posts long ago, for a long time I’ve often enjoyed emotional, sad love songs, because of their characteristic quality to add emotion to notes and rhythms. On a fresh, recently discovered note, I believe that another reason I enjoyed this type of music was because the emotion portrayed in the music was something I wasn’t capable of expressing myself.
Something happened this morning, on my way to work. As I was making my way through traffic, there were many more people than normal performing routine San Antonio driving feats – cutting people off, not using turn signals, etc. But this time… I smiled. I laughed, even! It was so funny to me that these people could get so caught up in doing douche-bag things, and that other people on the road could get so mad at them, but what is it all for? We’re all just people. We’re all just trying to achieve something, whether consciously or subconsciously, in this life. Why get worked up over bad drivers, of all things?
So I laughed at every single one of them, because of the feeble nature of road rage. It cracked me up. I have become so grateful for what I have lately that the things that used to perturb me simply entertain me now! There is so much to be grateful for in life that we don’t really have time to be annoyed at the little things – but most people do anyway. Why? Because it’s easier. It’s easier to get pissed at someone for cutting you off than to be grateful that you have a roof over your head every night. It’s easier to flip someone the bird than to be thankful that someone loves you. I don’t want easy. And I’ve already rejected it.
So once all the bad drivers subsided, I noticed something else. What in the world was playing on my iPod? “The Lovers are Losing,” by Keane. BTW – I picked it. I have always been a huge fan of Keane’s first album, and almost as big a fan of their second album. They are both freaking depressing. But I just loved that stuff. I never really liked their new stuff from Perfect Symmetry, because it was too upbeat and happy – and it didn’t sound like “classic Keane.” But today, I was bobbing my head, smiling, and basically laughing to the music. I also noticed that I haven’t hit almost any of my “depressing music” artists in the past 2 weeks. I am so positively optimistic about things now, that I can’t even afford to listen to a sad song!
This might not make sense to many people, but it is huge for me. For my preferred genre of (vocal) music to change is a big, big deal. There are some seriously monumental things going on inside of me, and I am surprising myself every day with what I’m capable of.
I made a serious discovery this morning, while laughing at bad drivers and listening to happy music. I’m not going to share it here, because someone else needs to hear it first. But I guarantee you, it is a discovery that will change – and already has changed – my life forever.
Written by cbte on April 13th, 2010
Life is a beautiful thing. Every moment is an opportunity. Every breath we take issues another new moment to be had. With each breath we take, a greater force is willing us to lead our lives a certain way. We can fight it, but we will never win. Fighting will only lead to unfulfillment. Once we accept what we know is true in our hearts, the true magic starts to happen.
I’ve stopped fighting my heart, and I feel physically different. I can’t help but to smile as I type this. Each individual moment in my life has led to this moment. I am savoring this moment, as I will all the rest. You can’t do that when you’re too busy fighting your destiny.
There are too many positive things happening around us to have a negative outlook. There is too much opportunity for success for us to even consider failure. Our hearts are too big too keep them all to ourselves.
My call to you is this. Do something radical. Something you have either never done before or that you don’t think is possible. Silence the negativity in your mind, and set your heart free. Be you. Don’t be what you want someone else to see, be what you want to see.
Chances are good that you only have one life to live, so don’t ever settle for giving any less than 100%.
Written by cbte on April 12th, 2010
It’s not too often these days that we take a moment to sit back and think about all the things we’re grateful for. With a new outlook on life and a little help from Tony Robbins, I’ve decided to focus on the things I’m grateful for in my life, every day.
When you focus on what you’re grateful for, there’s no room for fear. There’s no room for feeling like you won’t be enough. There’s no room for doubting yourself. There is only room for being thankful. And being thankful is a beautiful thing. Don’t believe me? Try it.
I am so grateful for the important people in my life. I wouldn’t be the man I am without them. Every single one of them. I am grateful to have a well-paying job in a “recession.” Even if it’s not my dream career, they’re paying me a good amount of money for not much effort, and my coworkers are extremely warm-hearted people. I am so grateful for my job. I am also grateful for the things I love in my life. I’m thankful that there are things in this world that bring me enjoyment. Isn’t that something to get excited about? No matter how bad things could ever get, there will always be things that bring me joy.
If you are reading this, I am grateful for you. You mean more to me than you know, and I am honored that chose to read my words, when you could be browsing MyFace. I truly am.
Spend 15 minutes today verbally stating what you are grateful for. You will feel a new sense about you, and you won’t be the same.
Written by cbte on April 11th, 2010
Isn’t the world just better with surprises? Just think about all the surprises you experience – good and bad – during your life. Would you be the same person without them?
I’m absolutely awful at keeping surprises secret, but I love them. I absolutely love them. So here’s to surprises. Go surprise someone, and make their day.
